Friday, February 5, 2010

A Word on Marriage

Marriage is not a wedding! It's not a contract! It's a covenant between two people, hopefully included in that covenant, is God. A marriage covenant is a promise of a man and a woman committing themselves to one another for a lifetime. It's truly a special thing. Marriage was designed to be broken only by death of one in the marriage. No this is not a license to kill your spouse! I also know that divorce occurs and at times it is honestly justified in the eyes of God. Even so, marriages were meant to last for a lifetime.

Many people possess a Wal-mart mentality about marriages. If you don't like your spouse, you can simply return him or her and get another. In the words of John Stossel, 'give me a break'! This is ridiculous. Marriages may be made in heaven, but they will experience some hell on earth. Even so, commitment to one another in love can conquer all!

One must ask the question then; "Why all the divorces?" Right or wrong, there are many reasons that people get divorced. From the big stuff like adultery to the little stuff like arguing over finances. OK, finances are not little, but compared to adultery they are.

If guys and gals would only understand that they are not perfect, nor is their mate. Marriage is a wonderful gift, but it is also one of the hardest things we shall undertake in this world. Think about it; two different people who have faults, opinions, differing personalities, desires, likes, dislikes, and on and on it goes come together and marry each other. When the cutesy and the newness wear off, those things come to the surface. What used to go unnoticed or overlooked is now front and center. From these come disagreements, arguments, hurt feelings, and fights! If not dealt with properly these will escalate and harmful words and/or actions will ensue. When marriages takes this turn they are in deep trouble. What happens at this point varies. Sometimes divorce occurs immediately, while many will stay together, but instead of living in harmony, they live emotionally separated. Two people living with each other but not really living as married people. Infidelity occurs in many of these situations. While some take part in sexual infidelity, or adultery, others will commit emotional or social infidelity. This occurs when a husband, a wife, or both pull away from the other spouse and invest that time with another person or group of people. It happens all the time. A wife who withholds affection or who may not be getting affection from her husband will pour her life into her children, church, or job. A husband who is not investing in his wife or is missing her attention will pour his time and energy into time with friends or work. This should not be!

One of the greatest books on marriage was written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs'. Love and Respect deals with biblical principles of a healthy and happy marriage. It brings out the fact that a wife has one driving need - to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need - to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs is not met, things will get crazy and problems will ensue opening the door for infidelity in one form or another.

Husbands, your greatest responsibility is your wife! Do you cherish her? Do you honor her? Do you selfLESSly love her? If not, you are only hurting yourself! Wives are God's gift to us in spite of ourselves! She must be #1 in your life AND she must know that she is!

Wives, your greatest responsibility is your husband! Do you cherish him? Do you honor him? Do you selfLESSly respect him? If not, you are only hurting yourself! Husbands are gifts to you as well! He must #1 in your life AND he must know that he is!

Marriage is a gift to be enjoyed and shared with your spouse! Now let's get busy with some lovin' and respectin'!